Tuesday, July 25, 2017

What It Was Like to Have a Double Mastectomy [Part 1]


I never wrote about my mastectomy surgery and recovery. Probably because I wanted to put it behind me as quickly as possible instead of explaining how difficult and terrifying it was to approach it. Funny enough, it was my reluctance to sit and face the change that made it all the more frustrating. When I couldn't do certain things on my own, I wanted to kick things or break down and cry. I hated everything about this.

In the week leading up the surgery, I was an emotional mess. I'd hide and cry on the bathroom floor, heaving because I was scared and I didn't want to go through with it. Deep down I knew it was the right choice, but that didn't offer much comfort—this was all a gamble in the hopes that the cancer wouldn't come back a third time, possibly, maybe, in the future, fingers crossed. It's not like I'd know then and there that it worked, and before all that I'd have to go through the pain of recovery and learning to accept my body's changes from here on out. I was scared of looking mangled and ugly, as superficial as it was. Everyone would remind me that my health and being alive was more important. Some people get to have that without giving anything up though. Why did I have to?

The night before the surgery, my sister asked me over to her place and when I got there, her and her boyfriend presented me with the most heartfelt gift I have ever received: a compilation of video messages from friends and family near and far. Each time a new face would pop up on the TV screen my eyes would well up all over again, completely floored and amazed that these people would take time out to wish me good luck and tell me they loved me. That was seven months ago and I haven't been able to look at it since because I know that big lump in my throat will come right back. Just thinking about it is enough to stir up the feels.

On surgery day, December 2, 2016, I woke up, climbed into the shower, took one last look at my breasts, and just lost it. Alex came and gently pulled me out, helped me get dressed and we headed down to the hospital.

My family was already there in the waiting room. When I'd gone in for my last lumpectomy, I'd had time to sit with them and settle in for a few moments. This time, I was taken in immediately. I changed into my gown, brushed my teeth as required before surgery to minimize risk for infections, and tried to pee into a cup. I was way too nervous to do so, way too nervous to have drank any water and after all that crying, I was way too dry. Vitals were taken, forms were signed and more tears were shed. I kept waiting and asking for my family to be let into this area because I couldn't handle being alone. My parents came in first, they kissed me and reassured me that everything would turn out fine. Then my sister and Alex came to spend those last few moments with me.

Except I couldn't pee. And they couldn't operate on me until they knew for sure that I wasn't pregnant. (I wasn't pregnant.) So they had to rush blood samples to a lab and wait 20 minutes for the results to come back. I don't know if it was better or worse to have that extra waiting time. On hand, I calmed down a bit as my sister and boyfriend joked around, but I also wanted to get it over with; if they'd told me to go home, I might have never returned. Luckily for them, the test came back negative and it was time for the show to go on.

I kissed them both goodbye and when I started panicking, Alex held my face in his hands so that I could really look at him as he told me that I would be alright. A mixture of no's and mhhmm's was all I could muster between shaking my head and wanting to be brave. I was pleading at him with all my silent might to please take me away. I didn't want to walk down that hallway a third time, I didn't want to lie down on that scary table as the surgeons swarmed around me, I didn't want them to console me or dab at my temples as the tears dripped into my ears, I didn't want them to cut into me. In my past surgeries I might have stifled the sobs so as to not embarrass myself in front of these doctors, but this time I didn't care—I didn't want to hold back how scared I was.

But five minutes later, I couldn't care about anything anymore. It happened and I was asleep.

Image: pixabay.com

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

{Travel} An Eco-Friendly Trip to Miami


Miami isn’t just a bachelorette party hot spot where you can hit the beach all day and dance all night. It’s also a city with a rich ecosystem that provides a chance to reconnect with nature. Here’s how to how to make the most out of a green trip to Miami and come back fresh and renewed.

Where to Stay

To crank up the luxury level several notches, check in at the Epic Hotel located right where the Miami River meets Biscayne Bay. You’ll have a room with a stunning view of downtown Miami, full service marina at your disposal, spa and fitness center and outdoor swimming pools located on the 16th floor deck. The hotel brand features environmentally responsible initiatives, including the use of eco-friendly cleaning supplies and toiletries, low-flow faucets, showers and toilets and in-room recycling bins among other measures. Its restaurant’s name, Area 31, refers to the ecologically sound fishing region where much of the Mediterranean menu’s seafood is caught.

Where to Eat

Sushisamba’s menu features a veritable fusion of Japanese, Brazilian and Peruvian cuisine. Traditional dishes are served alongside more imaginative fare and the sushi and ceviche are unbelievably fresh. The restaurant has also been committed to sustainability, doing its part to protect at-risk fish – such as the endangered Bluefin Tuna – and raising awareness among its customers.

Jaguar Restaurant, a ceviche spoon bar and Latin American grill, offers signature dishes from Mexico, Peru, Argentina and Chile with a broad selection of flavors and salsas like its Peruvian Ahi Amarillo. You’ll also get a chance to taste some of the South American wines. And while you’re there, check out Dionisio Ceballos’ original paintings decking the walls. The Mexican artist was once invited to reproduce several of Frida Kahlo’s works for the 2002 film Frida.

What to Do

Not only does the Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden focus on conserving and growing an incredible tropical plant collection, but it also serves as a backdrop for the works of artists from around the globe. Among the permanent installations are Dale Chihuly's colorful glass sculptures.

Miami EcoAdventures offers up a menu of excursions – such as the Sea Kayak and Snorkel Adventure – all led by Miami-Dade Parks’ naturalists. Kayak along Key Biscayne, jump into its shallow waters to snorkel and discover cool facts about the diverse environment that surrounds you.

Now what’s an eco-trip to Miami without exploring the Everglades? For a memorable experience that’ll zap any creepy images of murky, dirty swampland, sign up for Dragonfly Expeditions’ Everglades Backwater Tour. Field biologists will guide you through the cool waters while pointing out the history, plants and wildlife that make this ecosystem so incredible. Alligators may make an appearance.

Afterwards, stop by The Pit Bar-B-Q for a chance to taste gator meat and a sweet slice of key lime pie while you sit outside and take in the beauty of the Everglades.

Image: unsplash.com/Lance Asper

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Obsessed with Mint/Teal Everything


I recently realized that I've slowly been amassing items that fall within the mint/teal color palette. From my iPhone case to clothing, backpack and other desk accessories, most of my current favorite things are in this same tropical hue. Looks like over time I've gone from being obsessed with purple to constantly gravitating towards blue and now on to this summery hue. Below, a few of the mint/teal items in my collection and links to where you can find these goodies.


1. Spigen iPhone Case Wallet | 2. Linda & Harriet Day Journal | 3. H&M Cardigan | 4. LifeFactory Glass Water Bottle | 5. Poppin Aqua Double Tray | 6. Herschel City Backpack | 7. Yoobi Document Organizer | 8. IKEA TJENA Box | 9. Essie Nail Polish in Mint Candy Apple*

*I don't have this nail polish shade just yet, but after seeing this pretty collection, I might have to grab it just to keep the trend going!

What colors do you find yourself gravitating towards these days? Do you find they change with the seasons?

Images: unsplash.com/Anubhav Saxena, spigen.com, lindaandharriett.com, hm.com, lifefactory.com, poppin.com, herschel.com, yoobi.com, ikea.com, and essie.com

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

MoMA PS1's Lumen Transforms from Breezy to Otherworldly


Last week, I spent a few hours at MoMA PS1 for a preview of its newest outdoor installation Lumen, an interactive canopy that responds to light and proximity. During the day, the hanging tubular structures float in the breeze, spray mists of water whenever someone walks near, and collect solar energy. Come nighttime, the fibers glow and the courtyard makes an otherworldly transformation that will make an amazing setting for the museum's Warm Up summer concert series, which kicked off July 1.

Lumen will be on view at MoMA PS1’s courtyard from June 29 though August 27. To read more about my visit and see the transformation via photos, click here.

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Happy Independence Day, America


Here's to keeping this country the Home of the Free and the Land of the Brave. Even if we have to fight our own government for it.

Image: unsplash.com/Trent Yarnell

Monday, July 3, 2017

How to Fall in Love with Your Hometown Again


When you’re settled in a city for too long, let’s say your entire life, everything about the place could start to wear on you. The pace, the sights, the things to do…to you it all seems so “been there, done that.” But if you can’t pack up and move somewhere new just yet, there are ways to soothe that jaded side of you and fall in love with home again. Below are nine things you can do to rediscover all the little things that make your town great.

1. Invite out-of-towners into your home for a visit. The whole city will be completely new to them and you'll be able to feed off of their excitement. You’ll be forced to show and tell them about the cool spots in your town and, in turn, start appreciating your town so much more because you'll see it through someone else’s eyes.

2. Take a walking tour of your own city. Learn about its history, architecture, and its key figures as you actually pay attention to the sights. You can either find free tours you can print and follow online, borrow guides from your library, or sign up for a walking tour through town.

3. Explore a neighborhood you've never visited before. Find cool places to see, eat, and do while you're there. You might fall in love with a different part of town that could someday become your next zip code.

4. Watch movies set in your city and squeal when you recognize a landmark on the screen. Great cinematography can really make a place come alive.

5. Leave town for a while. There's nothing like being out on the road for a couple weeks or even days to make you feel grateful to be reunited with family, friends, and your own bed.

6. Write a list of all the things you haven't done in your hometown whether it's something you've always felt was too "touristy" for a local like you or are more obscure, and then make plans to tackle each item on your list.

7. Join local Meetup groups based on your interests. Finding awesome people to do the things you love instantly makes a place feel much more inviting.

8. Ask your parents or older family members about the places where they hung out when they were younger. Have them drive you around pointing out how things have changed since then and try to see your town through their eyes. Bring along old photographs for comparisons and lots of reminiscing.

9. People watch. So much of life zooms right past us when we fail to take a moment to actually look. Humanize your town again by paying attention to the people who inhabit it.

What do you do to keep that spark between you and your hometown alive?

Image: Unsplash/Wojtek Witkowski