I don't want the holidays to come. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I don't want to face it or the horrid trifecta that's to follow: Christmas/New Year's, my birthday and Valentine's Day. I don't want any of it. I want the clock to stop right now at 11:17 PM and go no further. I don't want to face it all without him. This is not what I'd imagined last year; 2008 was supposed to be good. We were supposed to spend our holidays together in our home. Not barely talking and borderline indifferent toward each other.
It hurts. It still hurts so much. And I don't want the holidays to come.