Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Going Forward, Looking Back

Dear 2008,

You were a tough one. I rung you in with laughter, kisses and no clue as to what really laid ahead in the coming months.

There were struggles, sacrifices, tears and heartache. I felt broken for most of you and its been a constant search to find myself once again and piece things back together. There was the apartment hunt soon followed by the breakup. The roller coaster of emotions. The hope. The depression. The toll it was all taking on my body. The hospitalization.

But through it all there were flashes of light. My first magazine stories. Standing up for myself. Moving out on my own. Finally sleeping through the night. The Phillies' win and Obama's victory. My family coming together for Thanksgiving dinner at my table. Blogging. Adorable newborn babies - none of which were mine.

And I learned. I've come to realize how much I can handle and still come out on the other end. I've learned that I have this huge capacity to love and that if I was that lucky once then I can be that lucky again.

I learned that there are things I need to change, but at the same time I know that I am blessed. It's easy to say that on the good days, but I need to remember that I'm just as blessed on the bad days. I have a crazy family that understands me, close friends that support me, a wonderful ex-boyfriend that still cares about me, a rambunctious little puppy that just wants to play with me and a dream career that challenges me.

So yes, 2008, you were harsh with the lessons I needed to learn. You pushed me off the cliff and it was sink-or-swim. I survived the fall somehow, but I'm not ashore just yet. After all, I still need to sign up for those swimming lessons.

Two years ago, Mr. First shared a quote with me from NC State's late basketball coach Jimmy Valvano: If you laugh, if you think and if you cry, that's a full day.

I think I just had a full year.

Here's hoping 2009 is much gentler with all of us.

Image: flickr.com

20 comments :

  1. Nice job in putting this past year into words. Here's to 2009 being much better for you!

    Happy New Year!

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  2. Good for you! 2009 will be amazing!

    Happy New Year and Happy 2009!

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  3. Great post. I'm definitely hoping my 2009 is a better year for me.

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  4. Wishing you a marvelous 2009 dear!
    The k9 baby is adorable...

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  5. Wonderful share! *HUGZ* Here's to an awesome 2009.

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  6. well said, my friend. 2008 will make you a strong, strong heart. I hope 2009 fills it with love and well-deserved light.

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  7. That's a great quote by Jimmy V. :) Cheers for 2009. Happy new year.

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  8. Hear, hear! Wishing you a 2009 that finds you feeling whole and joyful again. Surviving the fall is the hardest part. Surviving the fall with the will to swim is a sign of real strength of character... Try to remember every now and again to roll over on your back and just float. It gives you time to breathe and reminds you that the sun and stars are still up there... :)

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  9. Beautiful...thoughtful...well said.

    I hope this year holds a lot of good and more firsts for you. And I am sooo with you on 2009 being a gentler year...here's hoping!

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  10. 2009 will be a great year for everyone!

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  11. What a year girl! I wish you an amazing 2009

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  12. Happy New Year Dorkys!

    It was a pleasure "meeting" you last year - one of the blessings 2008 actually had.

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  13. Dorkys! I'm going to be in NYC next week- the 7th to the 12th. It would delightful to meet you, even briefly, if that is somehow possible.
    My boyfriend's band is playing at Piano's on the 9th and at Public Assembly in Brooklyn on the 10th, if you're in the mood for some live music with a good vibe (http://www.myspace.com/theunionline)

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  14. Stopping by from SITS♥
    Hope you have a wonderful 2009!! :)

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  15. Here from SITS with my best wishes for a wonderful 2009. What a lovely post, really touching, thank you.

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  16. That was a great post!

    Cheers to 2009!!! May it be a healthy and happy year for you!!!!

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  17. Thanks so much for visiting me - that was so sweet!

    It sounds like you had a rough 2008 - but like you said, you learned and you survived. Here's to a brand new start with 2009!

    (How did you pull off sleeping through the night? I need help with that one, too!)

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  18. Hello Dorkys. I have just stumbled across your blog and really liked your Dear 2008 post, and the interview you did with yourself. I'm going to add you to my blogroll. Happy New Year!

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  19. Happy 2009! Sometimes the tough years help us appreciate the easier ones so much more. Here's hoping to a much happier 2009!

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  20. you are one tough cookie....and I always try to remember...it's not what we go through...but how we go through it...that defines us as a person....

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