Like I mentioned before, a funny thing's happened since I was laid off: my social life has gone through the roof. Now I determine the days of the week by what activity I've got going that day. I say yes to most things - even if I'm dead tired - and have introduced spontaneity into my life. And somehow in between the blogger meet-up, party bus fun and holiday cocktails, I started hanging out with someone new.
A guy someone new.
And you know what? I haven't self-combusted yet. After all this time of closing myself off to the idea of moving on, I've finally realized that I'm ready for it. When I flirt (and man, does it feel good to do that again), there's no regret afterwards. When I receive a message from him, I don't wish it were from Mr. First instead. At some point in the last six months...something changed and I hadn't even noticed.
Yes, I've already freaked, the internal alarms have sounded and I keep wanting to keep my distance. But despite all that, I've also opened myself up, thrown care to the wind and decided to just go along for the ride. I'm enjoying all those little firsts you gather when you get to know someone new, the excitement that comes in discovering what makes this person tick.
So, I guess I'm dating again and let me tell you, stepping away from the fear I've been carrying all along feels so damn liberating.