I feel anything I could write here would be completely inconsequential. Lazy. Powerless. Some lackluster post (much like the one you're currently reading) with no real motivation behind it. And it's not like I've been feeling sad or out of it. On the contrary, I'm very happy these days. The unemployment situation stopped robbing me of my sleep (though waking up at 8 AM every day really needs to stop). I'm a healthy 28-year-old who can still pay all her bills. Apparently I'm liked and the number of times I laugh like a maniac each day has risen exponentially over the last few months. I'm beyond content.
So why the semi-burnout? I remember those endless posts of torment and joy that plagued this blog. The exuberance immediately followed by some weeping, soul-searching piece. At least that constant up and down, love, hate I'd grown used to made me feel alive, somewhat in motion. Nowadays, I feel calmer, lighter, just going from one day to the next without being bogged down by what is, was, could've, would've, should've. Refreshing yes, but different. Instead of explaining why, I'm learning to experience this state of Just Being.
Fun times, but it doesn't help my writer's block! And not just for Dry As Toast, but for my freelancing as well. I have this constant need to churn out new ideas and my wheels are starting to jam. Perhaps it's the bleak season, working from home or the fact that as my own worst critic, I pressure myself too much. Are the best writers really the tortured ones?
Who knows, but it's funny how this current fit of uninspiration at least moved me to write something longer than four sentences. So, what's got your wheels turning these days?