Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Transferrable Skills of Past Relationships

Have you ever sat and thought about all the stuff you did (or didn't want to do) in your previous relationships that then made you a much better boy/girlfriend in your following ones? Because that's exactly what I was thinking of Sunday night when I was hanging out with A.and some of his (and now my) friends to watch the Yankees v Red Sox opening day game. Back when I was with Mr. First, I'd want to spoon my eyes out whenever I got stuck watching sports on TV. You cannot imagine the boredom. (Attending Phillies games was a different story. I actually enjoyed those.) But because he was such a baseball fan, some of it started to seep into me. After we broke up, I still followed his beloved team and cheer for them to this day.

A mild interest in baseball is not all I've received from the past guys I've dated. Thanks to them, I expanded my music collection, learned about a range of topics (comic books, video games, sports, history, science, sex, etc.) and ultimately learned more about myself- good and bad qualities alike. So then I started wondering what my relationship resume would look like if I were ever thrown back onto the market...


What would yours say?

P.S. I didn't add him to my resume, but I picked up a few things about relationships from my dad like the importance of curiosity, taking an interest in people and broadening my circle. He also taught me how to give and expect respect and love without resorting to violence, stand up for myself and be self-reliant. Oh, and how to be late for everything.

Image: Daily Drop Cap by Jessica Hische

33 comments :

  1. I completely agree. I think that all of the things I did wrong my past relationships have really been a big factor in why my current relationship happens to be so damn amazing :)

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  2. LOL! Your love resume looks much more impressive than mine. And you did graduate cum laude. Good job. Aside from marrying my Hubs I was pretty much a dating disaster until age 30.

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  3. Dammit where did my comment go??

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  4. I think the most important thing I learned from all of my past relationships is that I'm sort of awesome--too awesome to put up with other people's BS and too awesome not to stick up for myself when someone treats me badly.

    There were a lot of other things I got out of my old relationships (and my current one!), but I think a sense of self-worth was probably the most important.

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  5. Ha ha, I like that you actually put together a resume! That's a pretty neat idea...

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  6. I could of sworn I left a comment...

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  7. Oh well, take two.

    I enjoyed a chuckle at your resume. Not the hard lessons learned or any of that, but the humorous form you put them in (the resume).

    That belaborous point made - I would be have to be high on some very, very good drug, one better than NyQuil even, to think about putting my experiences to paper in this form. :) Of course, I would be hard pressed to fill 1/3 of a page of paper, double-spaced, large fonts, and a couple large-ish pictures thrown in there for good measure.

    The first crush I actually spoke to, died of cancer... and things got slightly better after that.

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  8. Hmmm... Interesting post. I don't think I'll be posting what mine would say though. LOL!

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  9. Hola, Dorkys!

    That resume is so funny! I'm not sure what mine would say.

    Maybe the biggest thing I've learned from past relationships is not to be insecure, or if I am insecure, to try not to show it. But I still hate waiting for a guy to call. :)

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  10. this. is. amazingly awesome.

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  11. What an amazing idea! If it weren't for some failed relationships, my music library would be half what it is now

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  12. I try to never think of the people from my previous relationships. (shiver down the spine)

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  13. What a great idea and what a great way to really show that life lessons are lifes lessons and the way our life is colored by others even those who hurt us is hugely hugely sageful;)

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  14. What a good idea. Very smart... I like this. Sorry you missed out on the OJ promo! :(

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  15. This is great-a relationship resume. Don't you wish you could ask to see your date's resumes before going on a second date? :-) Mine would be very interesting I'm sure. I should write one up!

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  16. Hi, you're so creative! Have to make a point to come back more often. Love it! :-)

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  17. I've been married for 25 years, so my past relationship have (thankfully) faded into past memories. Like some of my first jobs, I'd be hard pressed to remember skills learned or past 'duties' & that's probably a good thing. Love the post! Stopping by from SITS to say hi & say thank you for stopping by my blog!

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  18. This was a fantastic post! The relationship resume... this would be a very healthy psychological process/practice and one I think all women should do at times in their life when they need...perspective lets call it.

    I own my introduction to alternate music (I particluarly remember the boy that brought me Nine inch nails in my youth), my love of old vintage cars, red wine and hmmm I know theres more, it would probably do me some good to do my own relationship resume....
    Off to do that now!
    Thanks for your comments, I love your blog, am following now and I will be back.

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  19. This might be without a doubt the best post I've read all week. Now I'm posing the question to all my girl friends of what would be on their dating resume.

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  20. This is pretty much awesome. My resume would all fall under unrequitted love but I've learned a lot from it. Very cute idea!

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  21. That's my baby - she makes incredible posts.

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  22. Aww thanks for the support, babe! That means a lot :)

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  23. I love this post. That is all.

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  24. Loving the resume. That's great! And inspiring. :)

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  25. that's hilarious! DH likes to say that my ex husband set the bar so low that he has a super easy job keeping me happy. I guess there's some truth in that but I still think I did MUCH better the second time around!

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  26. I don't think I could even begin a resume like that. I'd have to finish that one blog of mine in its entirety in order to have an idea as to where to start. Most of what I learned was from the one relationship...

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  27. This is such an awesome post!

    I am going to have to give this little activity some thought.

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  28. Lord. Is it okay for my old, married behind to say that although this "resume building" activity would have been good for me 8 years ago, I would be safer not revisiting it. :) I have always said, though, to friends still dating....the best part about break-ups is taking the good things you learned from that relationship and applying it to something in the future. It's the only way to positively approach the next day. If we dwell and focus on negative take-aways, we stay stagnant. At least I believe this to be true.

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