I can have an all-or-nothing mentality every now and then obsessing over one thing in intense blitzes that are sometimes so powerful, it makes concentrating on anything else difficult (think ear-worm). This is why I've been having a hard time focusing on anything writing-related these days. For the past week, I've been losing sleep. My body tosses as my mind turns over endless ideas and possibilities refusing to let me be until I finally create what I've conjured up in my restless dreams. Until the next light bulb goes off, that is.
If you know me well, you'll know about my fascination with paper goods: letters, stationery, journals, cards and etc. I was the odd child who gently unwrapped her gifts so as not to damage the wrapping paper. I'd squeal at the pretty bows, the shiny bags and boxes and would carefully store each layer of tissue to play with later. To me, the packaging was just as special as the treasures that laid hidden inside. As for how much I value handwritten letters and handmade cards, well, I think I've covered that ad nauseam here.
I've had the name of my would-be company for three years and have had the logo designed for just as long. But those goals have always been kept in some cobwebbed corner in my head along with The Places I'll Visit When I Have Time and Money and The Things I'll Do When I Grow a Pair. Timing and "what ifs" were more than enough to keep patting down those dreams into the recesses of my mind, only pulling them out to remind myself of the things I'm capable of doing if I so choose to take a step.
Well, I'd like to announce that I've been taking quite a few of them:
1. I'd been wishing that I dedicated more time to my hobbies rather than wasting so much of it feeling guilty in front of a computer. Well I was completely blindsided by this surge in creativity and have been going at it nearly non-stop. Be careful what you wish for and be prepared to take full advantage when it comes.
2. There's been a certain class at the School of Visual Arts that I've wanted to take for the last two years. Yesterday, I finally went for it and registered for their Greeting Card Design class where I'll not only learn about designing, producing and marketing cards, but stationery, postcards, wrapping paper and other paper goods as well. I've no idea what I'm getting myself into, but I'm looking forward to learning all about it and having a weekly incentive to keep creating. The adventure starts on the 21st.
3. Etsy. The more I think about it, the more I want to do it just to cross it off my bucket list and the more I understand the reality of actually being successful in such a vast community. If I do open up a little online shop through them, it'll only be to test the waters before my goods and I move out on our own.
4. Although I've always wanted to do these things, I don't know if I would've gone for them right now if A. hadn't pushed me to go for this. He's been forcing me to dream big and act on it.
I don't know what will come of this new path I'm about to venture on. Maybe it'll remain a hobby or maybe I'll find some success through it. Either way I've already felt the anxiety building and heard the voices asking, "What if I'm not good enough?" Silly, I know. I'm freaking awesome. So I'm pushing all the doubts and hesitation aside and just diving into this. Lord knows if I hadn't blindly followed my dreams five years ago, I never would have become a magazine writer. Now finding a way to manage the two would be an even better dream.