Ladies, tell me if this ever happens to you: you meet up with the girls, chat about work, health, love life, family, everything and then on your way home you wonder why on earth did you give out so much intimate information. As if being exposed to so much estrogen triggers an uncontrollable case of verbal diarrhea.
See, things happen when girls get together. We want to confide in each other, we want to share and analyze details together and sometimes we just want to know that we're not the only ones going through our issues. We use these ya-ya moments to strengthen our bonds, but once tongues start flapping, it can easily devolve into a bare-all session that leaves you feeling worse than how you came in.
Why? Perhaps it's because:
1. You shared personal details when you weren't in the right state of mind. How many times have you complained about things or people only to regret it once you're feeling better or made up with whoever made you mad? Now you're worried that your friend(s) will hold it against that person when they couldn't possibly know the entire story.
2. Everyone has an opinion and her advice has either caused you more inner turmoil, embarrassment, revealed an unpleasant characteristic about your friend or made you wish you'd never mentioned anything at all.
3. In the hopes of cementing a deeper relationship with someone, you rushed in letting her into your personal life only to realize that the familiarity simply isn't there yet.
Truth is, not everyone is or should be privy to every corner of your life. The times when I've walked away from a meeting knowing full well that I should not have shared as much as I did, I end up feeling unsettled rather than satisfied at having added another layer to the relationship. It's perfectly okay to keep some stories carefully tucked away.
That said, there have been moments where I've shared deeply personal things and left feeling lighter, closer. Like last night when I met a high school best friend for a dinner that turned into a wonderful 3-hour-long catch-up. For me, it's a gut inkling in determining when the moment and person are right for it and with time, I've gotten a bit better at not only recognizing the different shades of friendships but also stopping conversations that lead to places where it need not be going. Not only for my own sake, but for theirs as well if I don't think our bond warrants it just yet.
Do you ever feel this way, too?