Wednesday, January 25, 2012

It's Time for a Resolution

And here it is: I want to stop being disingenuous out of courtesy. For example, I no longer want to laugh at jokes I don't find all that funny. Is that mean? Pretending is so tiring! Maybe I'll give them a smirk for their brave attempt just to be kind, but lately I've been noticing how fake it feels to laugh away when my brain is going "Wow, that was terrible." And being stuck in boring or draining conversations just because I don't know how to walk away? I'm liking it less and less, but I'm such a people pleaser that I'd hate to make someone feel bad with my honesty.

There's a boatload of shy, nerdy, and awkward people in my life and that's totally okay, I'm a bit of each of those things myself. So you KNOW I get my fair share of random interjections having nothing to do with the subject matter at hand, unnecessary personal information, obscure references, conversations that go on long after I've mentally checked out, and way too many jokes that fall flat (for me anyway). So at the risk of coming across as dry, I'm going to start saying:

"I'm sorry, but I missed how that was relevant. Could you please explain it to me?"
"I think that was a bit more than I needed to know."
"No, actually I've never heard of [insert unknown band, film, artist]."
"Well it was nice catching up with you, but if you'll excuse me I'm going to go [insert other activity]."
*smile*

What do think about my new social goal to keep things real? Am I being too harsh? Or do you agree with author/aviator Anne Morrow Lindbergh who said that "the most exhaustive thing in life is being insincere?"

Image: flickr.com

12 comments:

  1. Hmm, I've always been like this and feel that it comes across as extremely rude/blunt. I'm actually working towards what you are trying to get away from! But either way, good luck, I would love to see the results.

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    1. Maybe we'll meet somewhere in the middle.

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  2. Some people say that to do what you're intending to do is ruude and a bit too blunt. Personally I'd prefer people to be honest with me from the start; I like making people happy too, but since I myself would prefer people to be themselves and tell me how they really feel than to find out later that they were insincere... Well, I figure others would feel the same way. And, being totally honest, I happen to think that if you can't be yourself around friends, then they aren't worth calling friends, since friends will accept you for who you are.

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    1. I think this new direction would apply to acquaintances/people I'm not super close with since I can simply tell my friends if they're being corny or I didn't understand what they just said and keep it rolling without missing a beat. It's when I'm around people I don't know well that I often get stuck in conversations and pleasantries that I don't always want to be involved in. But I suck it up to be polite. Surely there's a way to be nice and get what I enjoy out of my social time, no?

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  3. You don't have to laugh, but don't be mean. Suggest an alternate punchline, instead.

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    1. Oh I had no intention to be mean and since I'm already known to be snarky and sarcastic, this tweak seriously wouldn't be a far departure from how I usually am.

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  4. So your resolution is to become a bitch? Atta girl!! lol

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    Replies
    1. Are you going to teach me all you know?

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    2. Yes my child. I will take you under my wing.

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  5. I like how you think honesty and kindness are mutually exclusive. Why can't I be nice AND a little less fake at the same time? Of course I wouldn't be outright mean, but why do I have to force a laugh for someone's joke if I don't get it? I laugh at plenty of awesome stuff so I want more of those wholehearted moments is all.

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  6. I am SO with you. I've been trying to do the same thing. I don't know how other people are taking it, but it sure makes me feel better.

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