Monday, January 26, 2009

Naked Bliss

Yesterday I read an interesting article on why women should feel wonderful when they’re naked. Laure Redmond, author of Feel Good Naked, mentioned that some of the benefits of feeling comfortable in the nude include self-confidence and love, a sense of boldness and adventure as well as the obvious perks in the bedroom.

It all had me thinking (no, relax, I’m not going to start sporting my birthday suit outside):

What would it take to completely accept my body as it is? Do we get more confident as we grow older or does age bring different sets of insecurities as time passes? Do we rely too much on how other people see us, needing their reassurances to validate our beauty?

I can only imagine the sense of freedom that would bring. To throw your hands up and let go of all hang ups. To love each bulge, mark and perfection that makes you who you are. To say “forget you” to fools who try to impose their idea of beautiful upon us.

My skin injures easily and I have childhood's bumps and bruises written all over. Like the fading childhood scar on my wrist from attempting to go down the slide head first. There’s the iron burn on my thigh I hid from mom for hours despite the pain because she’d warned me to be careful. My dark elbows and knees. My petite non-curvaceous frame. The crazy curls I’ve long decided to let loose. I wouldn’t be me without them. But I’m nowhere near being comfy with the body I was given.

Not long ago I asked people what they thought sexiness meant and having confidence was a popular answer. Knowing you’ve got it going on inside and out. And yes, I just mentally snapped my fingers and did the neck thing for that one.

So tell me, are you bare nakedly confident? If not, what would it take to get you to love what you have right now?



  1. Unfortunately, too many of us rely on what "society" determines is healthy or pretty. We are all each individuals, our bodies are all unique, and we don't all look good weighing 98 lbs.

    Yes, I'd love to lose some weight. There are things I need to do to be able to work on that. But whether I do it or not, I am me, and anyone who looks down on me because of my weight can go kiss my a**.

  2. i pushed you into the iron.. i so sowey =( i hope you think of me when you see it =]

    ps. i love me naked ^_^

  3. I thought you're talking about me! LOL. I love being naked after the shower... I try not to do it because I have two little girls, but I tend to walk around naked around the house and JT tells me, "put some clothes on!!" :D

  4. chicagolady, that's a great attitude to have. Sometimes it's just hard to block out all those outside influences especially when they're everywhere you turn.

    dama, I know you did and I almost added it in there. It's really faded now so no worries. And go you! :)

    maki, hahaha I remember that post! I envied you actually. I live all by myself and I still have to shut the bathroom door at all times and wrap myself in a big towel and get dressed before I even think about stepping out of it. And I don't even have a full length mirror in this place.

  5. If you can pretend to sing good in the shower you can pretend you have the body of whomever you want - at least until you step out. :)

    I was George Clooney this morning - now I just some balding fat guy.

  6. I think you grow more comfortable the older you get because you discover that no one is perfect and that this is the body God gave you.

    And that for better or for worse, it functions and gets you to and from places. Everyone has stuff about them that they don't like, ( I know I have a million). But at the end of the day its better to focus on the stuff that you do like.

    I think also meeting people who like how you look helps. Even though that should not be the only thing that can make you feel better, it does help. When a guy tells you how cute he thinks you are or when a guy tells you how one of his favorite things about you is one of your least favorite things reminds you that beauty is completely subjective.

    Reminds you that there is someone out there who won't love you despite your imperfections but that they will love you because of them. And that to him or her they are not really imperfections, they are just part of the things that make you, you.

    Wow, I wrote a book

  7. I love walking around naked.

  8. I think because our society is so consumed with sexuality, it seeps into body image. I thinkt he culprit is sex, not body...if that makes sense. Of course they're intertwined, I'd be a fool to discredit the connection. With three boys in the home, I don't get the pleasure of relaxing, but before there were children, when I was preggo in the dead heat of summer, I'd come home from work and strip to nothing and lay in front of the fan like a beached whale. I loved being naked then, my fat dimpled, belly busting self.

  9. I really needed to see this post today. I have always been so self consious about every aspect of my body. I didnt care that it was all working great I cared more about the bumps and flub I have. Now that im pregnant- seriously cant suck this tummy in- clothes are either to big or to small right now and still not looking "pregnant" With all that being said- not to mention the fact Im activly growing a beautiful baby inside me- why would I want to hide everything behind sweatshirts? This really gave me a new look- I need to love everything about me, I cant look at anyone else- no matter the size or look and find something if not many many things beautiful about them. I guess I need to turn around and do that for myself! Thanks!!!

  10. Dorkys,
    What an interesting post. I am happy with myself naked, but that could be the result of a recent 20 lb. weight loss. Still, I am happier having sex with the lights off! lol

  11. intense guy, great idea! Question is how do we carry on with the delusion after we get out. Or better yet, how do we stop wishing we were someone else in the first place?

    heidi, I know what you mean. When I was with Mr. First I felt like the most beautiful girl in the entire world and no one could tell me differently. It felt nice knowing I clearly couldn't be so heinous if someone actually liked looking at me.

    That's also when I started loving my curls more and stopped straightening it so often. Sad, I know, but I loved how much he loved them until I loved them too. If only I could take that same confidence I had with me regardless of whether I'm coupled or single.

    anonymous, really? Right now? At work? What's your job again because it might explain some things.

    tooj, lol! Thanks for the vivid imagery there buddy. Note to self, schedule third trimesters in the fall or spring.

    our fantasy, I have this huge respect for pregnant women. Everyone keeps mentioning your glow and how radiant you look, full of life and whatnot, but I can imagine the changes can take a toll on your body and esteem. I know some women whose husband's refuse to sleep with them when they start getting bigger! Ridic I tell you.

    But I guess if you love your body as it was and is becoming while realizing that you have this amazing being growing inside of you, then my dear there is no greater blessing.

    merc, that's great to hear! Not ready for the overhead lights, huh? Maybe start with some dimmers? And apparently candlelight is very flattering ;)

  12. I think no matter how you look there is always something that you will beat yourself up about. Most of the time the things we most notice on ourselves are things that nobody else would even pay attention to. I am comfortable with myself, but still not so much that I would dare wear a swimsuit on the beach!

  13. I have scars and bruises too...damn basketball. you have to believe you've got the goods...confidence!

  14. I have a love/hate relationship with my nose. It's a very large, Hungarian nose and sometimes I like it. Sometimes I loathe it. Also, I'm a curvy-on-the-bottom girl- meaning I have ultra large hips and honestly, I love that. BUT. Having curvacious hips means that it's easier to have the love handles that support them. It's hard to get rid of them things!

  15. joy de vivre, so true. I notice that when people point out their faults it's always something I didn't even realize until after they brought it to my attention.

    You know I went to a press event last night and the girl sitting next to me said, "You have such beautiful hair!"

    And what did I say? "Omg, it looks awful today!"

    Note to self: say thank you and shut up.

    valerie, oh at least you have a great reason for your scars. Me? I was just a clumsy kid who lived on the floor.

    gooseberried, I guess the grass will always be greener on the other side. I have no hips, which have made my dreams of dancing like Shakira that much harder to accomplish.

    torrance, what a great thought! Thanks so much for sharing.

  16. I'm "okay" naked.
    I was very confident with my body in my early 20's, but my metabolism has slowed in my late 20's, and now I'm on progesterone which makes my stomach balloon I guess my naked confidence has faultered a bit.


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