Monday, March 23, 2009

Courtship Questions

Saturday night the girls and I went out to a club by my house (very convenient by the way; had I known it existed I would've been a regular there by now). I had lots of fun and came home with my sis much later than I expected. But while I danced and laughed the night away, a few things popped into my head and I wanted to know what you guys thought:

- When a guy (or a girl) you're not interested in asks for your number, do you a) pretend you didn't hear the request, b) give out your digits like candy on Halloween, c) give out a fake number and hope s/he doesn't test it on the spot or d) politely explain why your answer is "Hell to the no?"

I'm (a) all the way. I might be flattered that you asked, but I don't know you, am much too "cautious" to give out my digits like that and it'll just become another phone number I'll ignore. I have done it once, though. That lucky guy was The Lawyer. And the first and only time I lied and said I lost my phone (while praying it didn't ring in my pocket), my phone was stolen just days later. I learned my lesson.

- When the guy (or girl) realizes you're not giving up your number and s/he says, "Look me up on Facebook!" as you walk away, do you a) turn around and ask if s/he's 22, b) keep it moving - quickly, c) thank your lucky stars you didn't hook up with someone who would use Facebook as a line or d) introduce him/her to a younger sib?

My response: (b) and (c). Seriously guys, keep Facebook for your silent stalking needs. Besides, if s/he doesn't want to suffer through a phone convo, s/he probably wouldn't be interested in learning 25 Things about you.

- When you're with someone on the dance floor or in, um, more intimate settings, have you ever had to close your eyes and pretend they were someone else just to get through the moment?

Saturday night I just had to (while dancing, of course)! No, really. If you saw him you'd have to, too. And apparently I wasn't the only one. Is that mean? I could have said, "Oh no, that's ok! Really! My feet! They're just killing me right now." Instead I said yes because I wanted to dance with someone, anyone (clearly). Then I proceeded to dance with a figment of my imagination with my back towards him. So evil and yet so necessary. Trust me. The guy was way creeptastic on the dance floor. *Shudders*

By the way, if the thought of being intimate with someone is so unappealing that you actually have to envision someone entirely different because you just cannot stomach his/her presence, then you might want to rethink that one, no? Just saying. Or maybe times have just gotten that rough...?

Also, have you ever slipped and called him/her the other person's name? It's slightly different, but I have let "babe" slip out during phone convos with my guy friends. Thank goodness they missed it because they weren't paying attention. Men.

- And finally, the age old question: How big is your allowable age gap? I'm still wrapping my mind that it's (almost) perfectly fine to look toward the 30-year-olds, but I don't think I could aim for too young either. I think age difference is a lot more noticeable when you're in your teens and 20s. You change by leaps and bounds. You're still growing, still trying to figure out who you are. Once you reach 30, I'd like to think you're more sure of yourself and a bit more stable so age really does become nothing but a number. But then again what do I know? I'm only 27. I have eons to go before then ;)



  1. I did that just once, called a guy by another's name. I dont think he noticed. Actually, knowing him, he did hear me and just didnt say anything about it. Why? Because I'd called him by my ex's name and I'd been with THAT one for over 10 years so it was absolutely understandable....right? It's not as though it happened ever again (especially since I took to calling the ex stupid shit or idiot boy shortly there after).

  2. When a guy (or a girl) you're not interested in asks for your number I just say no, and don't explain.

    When the guy (or girl) realizes you're not giving up your number and s/he says, "Look me up on Facebook!" as you walk away, looking them up never happens.

    When you're with someone on the dance floor ... have you ever had to close your eyes and pretend they were someone else just to get through the moment? Yes, but it only happened once many years ago.

    Also, have you ever slipped and called him/her the other person's name? I've gone whole evening without even knowing the other person's name...

    How big is your allowable age gap? I'd say plus or minus about five-ten years... Unfortunately that means 27 year olds (that are older than their years) are too young even if they do have way sexy smiles.

    And if LadyStyx ever calls me Idiot Boy, I'd know enough to run for the hills as fas as I can.


  3. ladystyx, well I've never been with anyone for anywhere near as long, but when you get used to saying something so many times it's bound to slip out! That was so nice of him to let it slide. I'm sure there are others who wouldn't be as understanding. Nice nicknames though!

    intense guy, hahaha! Loved your responses. And it's true: if I even caught your name to begin with I'll totally forget it by the time I get home. (And I didn't even bother to catch that guy's name anyway.)

  4. ugh...I hate, hate, hate dating for all these reasons.
    Visiting you from SITS--have a lovely day!

  5. LOL.. You had fun that night, didn't you Ms. Fresh.

    I wish I hadn't given my number to my new 21 year old stalker...
    See I thought he could be a new male dancing friend but nooooooooo Dude had to get all creepy on me..

    Geezz! Lesson Learned
    : )

  6. lora, hi and welcome! Yes, these are the lovely things you have to deal with when you're single.

    anonymous, yeah lesson learned...until you opt for option (b) again the next time we go out. And you have to give it to the kid, he is Tenacious!

  7. I agree; no means NO...then you just show your bright gorgeous SMILE! Don't be too easy with the numbers especially to those less desire ehem-ehem...

  8. Okay, where to start:
    phone number - Back before the kids and Hubs, I tended to be very blunt. With a smile. I get "tomboy friendly" with guys at clubs, talk sports, stuff like that. So if a number is asked but I don't want to give it up, I'll quickly quip something like "I don't date Duke fans". I've even said "you don't really want my number, you just feel that since we've been chatting for so long, it's an obligatory question. No worries...we're cool." LOL

    Facebook - Never had this question. Probably because I'm old and would have honestly answered "what the F is facebook? I've heard my little sisters mention it...."

    Dancing/intimate - "When I wanna feel your d**k, I'll let you know. Give me some space and let me dance." I told you...I'm blunt. Sorry if that is too graphic. LOL If the guy is nice but just unaware, I might use the "Dirty Dancing" line..."spaghetti arms...this is your space, this is mine." Sometimes I can be nice.

    Never used the wrong name, except when I'm yelling at my kids.

    Age - Biggest for me was when I was 23/24, he was 32. Not huge, and not really noticeable since he still acted like a moron.

  9. I would date a guy who is 5 or 6 years older, which means 31 and 32 is fine. I would prefer not to date someone younger, but if I have to maybe 25, thats only 1 year younger.

    And when guys ask for my number and I dont want to give it I say sorry, I'm married, that usually makes them leave. I use that one a lot after my previous line of sorry I have a boyfriend stopped working.

  10. Laughing at the bit where you have to picture someone else to get through whatever it is that you have to get through! You are hilarious!

  11. lenore, nice to see you're back & yup, they have to work for these digits!

    tooj, LOL!! You're too much! You've got some guts with those responses. Then again I've been pretty blunt too, but it either gets taken as flirtation or as a sign to back off. Sometimes I'm too sarcastic for my own good. And seriously, does EVERYBODY hate Duke?

    on facebook: good, and you never should. Facebook is just too much info for someone you've just met. You get to know way too much from the get go. Things better left unknown.

    on dancing: oy vey this is another one. Why must they be all up ons?? I've seen people dance like it's foreplay and that's just something I do NOT need to witness everrr. I try not to stare, but usually I find myself just looking with my head titled wondering, "What on Earth...?"

    on age: I'm pretty sure I snorted when I read this earlier. Isn't "moron" such a great word?

    heidi, some guys have no shame. Do you have a ring to go with your story or do "forget it at home?" Because that could be a whole 'nother can of worms. And I could totally see you with someone older, but maybe that's because you act all mature-like. Me? Not so much (at least not all the time). Plus, I look younger than I am so we'll just get stares in the street while people whisper "pedophile" when we pass by.

    heidi, it's horrible, but true. Sometimes you just have to take one for the team. Those of you who've had to entertain the not-so-cute friend while your buddy flirts with the hot one know what I'm talking about, too.

  12. Fun reading for me as I am not dating - never out too late - have been married for 38 years. I liked all your questions with options. Gotta be thoughtful and wise while out playing.

  13. no im honest and say either yes or no - too many games already

  14. I'm way out of whack on the dating scene. There was no social media or on-line dating when Husband and I hooked up. Damn, does that mean I'm old? Great post.

    Winks & Smiles,

  15. Hey nice post, even for a Syracuse fan, haha! I know these have happened to me or I've done some so I agree with some of your answers. I've actually asked a girl to be friends on FB instead of asking for her number, b/c she seemed like a cool girl to be friends with and I wasn't interested in dating at the time. She said sure and we've been friends since.

    P.S. Glad my Youtube videos made you laugh, "I like turtles!"

  16. Can I ask you a favour? If you are inclined, would you be so kind as
    to pop over to
    I just would love if you would vote for your favourite. Better if you vote for me. :)
    Thank you
    The Seeker

  17. Van, consider yourself lucky :)

    torrance, a man who cuts to the chase! If only more men (and women!) were like you, it'd save people a lot of trouble.

    wifey, no it doesn't mean you're old. I kind of wish it was still like that- before myspace, facebook, texting and im'ing came and made everything so complicated. Before you either wrote or called. That's it.

    jimmy, yeah well Syracuse got kicked out tonight so there went that. Watching Kansas now so good luck there!

    About facebook, it's fine if it's for friendly purposes and if you'd semi-started a rapport with the person. But I wouldn't facebook a stranger. Much less a stranger who was trying to flirt with me. Grow a pair. Ask for my number. You might not get a "yes," but isn't life about putting yourself out there? (If so, I have some work to do too.)

    seeker, only if I get another favor in turn. Say "hi" first maybe?


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