Sunday, April 12, 2009

String of Thoughts

Today was quiet.

And I shuffled through not wanting to raise any dust or leave my footprint upon the day. Quiet. Slow. Seemingly uneventful. Went through the motions.

When I'm having one of my mid-air days, I walk. I walk until my feet seem to move on their own. Some walk to clear their head; I walk to clear it and then fill it back up with thinking and wondering this, that and the third. "Flowers are blooming. I need to start taking my pills regularly." "I wonder how my cousin is doing." "Why do I feel so blah?"

Usually I go to the park and get my words down on paper. Sometimes they come. Today I didn't have the energy to pull them out. Instead, I quietly sat alone and deleted old messages from my phone. I didn't feel connected to anything around me.

It's both scary and amazing how the universe has the power to send you just what you need at the moment you need it. Only you don't really know what it is you need until you receive it. Sometimes it's a phone call or text from someone you thought had forgotten about you (and in my case it's just when I'm thinking of giving up on them). Other times it's a small hint of a path that will lead you to your answer. Little things here and there get set in motion just for you.

Today it was a middle-aged woman named Ana who came up to me and kept me company at the dog run. I hope to see her and her three dogs on another sunny weekend.

In the hopes of boosting the day, I finally watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall. My coworker has been telling me how hysterical it is. Hmm, maybe I wasn't in the right state of mind? I did laugh, but I related too much to it.

I've been off since Friday and my weekend was filled with incomplete thoughts, reading, way too much walking and shopping and an Italian lesson at a cafe. Back to the grind tomorrow. I'm so tired.

How was yours?



  1. The type of day where I wish I was with you on that walk... especially if the walk was located in a place like that picture.

  2. I would've gladly enjoyed the company, if only to walk in silence. And the park was much brighter and greener than this picture, but the dog run was empty for most of my visit.

  3. I feel like I am about to go into a coma. I am so tired.

    I know what you mean, some days it's weird, you are not sad or happy, you are just indifferent to what's going around.

    Life is HARD. But if it weren't hard we would never appreciate the good or easy times.

    Anyway, let's do lunch tomorrow. Want to?

  4. Lunch would be very nice actually. Thanks :)

  5. Quiet walks are good for clearing your head and sorting your thoughts. I'm waiting for a day when the sun is shining, and I don't need a jacket and gloves.

    Too much melancholy going on this week for me.

  6. I hear you. There are just times when you feel so disconcerted from everything. But then life will surprise you with little joys. Thanks for sharing.

  7. a profound post...I have so been there...I think we all need a day to just check out sort of...reboot maybe?

  8. My day started off great and ended badly.......ARGHHHHHHHHHHH

  9. Hmm... some one needed to put thoughts of sunshine and bikini wearing and other fun that was coming up for you.... :)

  10. chicagolady, oh I can't wait for those days either, when I can stay out til the sun sets without freezing to death.

    odessa, I'm sure there are lots of little joys each day that just go unnoticed. Just have to keep my head out of the sand.

    noah's mommy, what a nice way to see it. I used your point of view in last night's post. Instead of viewing it as a negative maybe it'd help to see it as necessary downtime for my mind/body.

    anonymous, what happened??

    intense guy, you know I actually kept forgetting about that...until I had a nightmare Saturday night where I totally forgot to pack and my flight was leaving in an hour. Leave it to me to get anxious over a relaxing trip!

  11. I feel this was my Monday. Off work yet couldnt enjoy a day off because it was ruined first thing in the morning with dumb conflicts. I felt so unattached to anything. i sat- walked a bit- sat- layed- cleaned... Tried to keep my mind on anything else. So far today things are looking better. Its sometimes nice to know I can come to a place like your blog and know someone else can relate! I hope your new day is much better!


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