Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Would You Ever Mix Business with Pleasure?

With more people spending more hours in the office, it's become less taboo to date someone you meet through work (provided you follow your job's rules on the matter). Sometimes the new cutie around the cube catches your eye and other times a crush slowly develops over department meetings, team projects and late night coffee runs.

I'll never say never, but I don't think I could date a coworker. I mean what if we get into a huge fight or break up while we're still working together? Talk about "kill me now" Monday through Friday. Then there's the temptation to swing by his desk to chat...or grab him by the tie and pull him into the nearest supply closet for some, um, Post-its. Gotta love those Post-its.

Anyway, yeah. My productivity would seriously plummet either way.

But then my little ban also extends to people who work in my building, are tied to anything that I work on and anybody I meet through work events. So basically I just slashed off about 90% of the male population I come across.

Am I being silly? Would you ever date a coworker or someone you met through work?



  1. me? date a co-worker? NEVER! hee hee :)

  2. I have actually and it made coming to work so much more fun!!

    Of course we always kept it professional in the office. No sneaking off into the supply closet. But chatting and coffee breaks--yep.

  3. I have to say not only did I date a co-worker we eventually got married. He was the night manager and I was the front desk person at a hotel. He became my best friend and we fell inlove. We have been together close to 9 years.

  4. I dated a fellow hall director when I was in grad school. Unfortunately, one of my RA's didn't like it (or me) and sent a letter to our director of housing saying that he stayed over all the time and that I didn't give any attention to my hall director duties, residents, etc (none of the above were true). My director of housing, took the letter as "the truth" and banned him from visiting me for 2 months. She reminded me that I lived in a fish bowl, blah blah blah.

    The REAL truth came out eventually and the air was cleared.

    While we aren't together any more, I swore off dating at work.

  5. My now husband was the general manager of the company I was working for. Together 7 years this month, married a little over 5 years. So that would be a YES!

  6. Let's see - I never have, but I never ruled it out, either. But then again, productivity gets slashed if you simply crush on a co-worker you encounter frequently, no matter if you date or they're married! Not speaking from experience or anything.....

    ANYHOW - I definitely think it all depends on the maturity of the people involved. If you tend to be a dweller on relationships (not pointing fingers!!), it might not be a good idea. If you tend to move along quickly and utilize an amiable break-up method...AND you date someone similar to this....then I'd say you could be A-okay to search for post-its.

  7. Yep, and I married him. BUT, we broke up in the middle and it was a nightmare working with him. In fact, I quit and worked someplace else to get away from him.

  8. Yes with qualifications to the first part and yes without any qualifications to the second part of your question.

    I've worked at some pretty big companies so if you avoided your boss, your underlings, and those in your own department - that left a couple thousand (or more) opportunities to look for Post-Its with someone.

  9. my last relationship was with a co-worker and i still wouldn't recommend it. i knew it was a bad idea when i first got into it, but as you said, 90% of guys we know are from work. the perks are awesome, but when it came time to end things, we agreed to make it a slow break and just wean ourselves away. so yeah, the break up went well and was clean, but i still don't recommend inter-office romances. it is fun to spectate tho from a distance and watch the drama unfold for others...

  10. I think you know my answer is yes! With us I think it helped that we dated for a long time before we ended up working together. We already were a couple so there wasn't the gossip that goes along with new work couples.

    It can work as long as you are mature about it. If you are like some of our former coworkers that chased each other, (seriously they did), down the hall and out of the building when they tried to hide their cell phone calls from each other, then it is not such a good idea! It makes for lots of fun for your coworkers to watch when you go crazy though! :)

  11. I dated a guy I worked with for a short while - we were on the same project together - no one knew so when we called it quits we just carried on as normal. That was 10 years ago and we still have mutual friends and have got together with our families for dinners occasionaly when his family is in town.

    Don't know if this is an Aussie saying or not but "don't shit where you eat" is banded about alot here...think "they" might have a point!

  12. Oh, and that staged picture of the foot rubbing in just silly. There is no way she could have gotten herself out of those shoes at a meeting! They aren't slip least they LOOK like they buckle at the ankle. And if they're elastic around the ankle, she'd still need help to get them off....and her hands are clearly "taking notes".

  13. Dear Lord, so 10 of you have?!?! And then 4 of you went and married each other...

    dama, yes you and yeah right.

    tuboflard, I like how you left out the whatever happened afterwards. Are you guys still together or something? And yeah it could be fun to see each other at the office...or it could be super tiring to see them every. single. weekday. all. day. long.

    doodles, a true modern day fairy tale.

    kelley, oh I remember my RA days all too well and fondly remember those scandals where a director would be hooking up with a resident on the low. Living/working on a small campus made for some great stories.

    stereos, congrats!

    tooj, yeah yeah, feel free to point fingers. I know I'm a dweller- when the relationship means something. So no, I don't think I could be invested in something and just let it go from one day to the next. Sorry. I grieve it til those feelings are good and dead.

    blueviolet, well at the least the story had a happy ending. Something to tell the kids perhaps?

    intense guy, goodness! That is a whole lot of people! I bet everyone was hooking up left and right and no one even knew. And say word Iggy got some sticky paper ;)

    moomby, man I wish I worked in a more scandalous office.

    joy, yeah see, I don't want to be someone else's entertainment. I want other fools to entertain me...and give me more reasons not to do it.

    amanda, definitely a saying to go by! And you guys were pretty slick if no one noticed. Hmmm, makes me wonder about the people around me...

    tooj, well CLEARLY, she pretended to drop her pencil and it must've "rolled" off a little too far taking her a bit more time to retrieve. Or maybe she went to the meeting prepared and with her shoes loosely buckled. What I want to know is if she's playing footsie with another colleague or with the boss...since he's sitting at the end of the table.

  14. I dated a guy I worked with, in fact he was kinda "in charge" of our department and it turned out okay. We DID NOT get married but remained friends after he left the company.
    No one knew about the relationship of course, so it was on the hush!

  15. I would never have dated a co-worker but that's because I always worked with weirdos...If I'd have worked with Lance I totally would have dated him! :)

  16. LOL @ Post-its. :)

    I would not date someone on my immediate team, but I don't see any issues dating someone working at the same company, building, or floor (well, maybe not floor).

  17. I wouldn't waant to date a coworker... For basically the reasons you said. While things were going on I'd have other things on my mind rather than working with this person. And if we broke up I wouldn't want to run in to the person, and would spend most of the day dreading it.

  18. The fact that it is someone you work with and see on a pretty frequent basis does make you think twice about it all. In the end if it's worth it, you go for it, because trust me if it's someone you really like and see some sort of future with, you're not going to let it go just because you work together. I'd be the one kicking myself in the ass because I did let the opportunity pass me by. My bf and I met because of work. He pursued me and so far so good with everything. We actually worked together pretty well prior to our relationship and we work even better together now.

  19. I never said dwelling was BAD. Get it right. :)
    And that's a good point about going to the meeting with shoes already loose....and do you notice that his chair is a little TOO far away from her to appear as excited as she is? Maybe her advances aren't wanted? Interesting picture.

  20. That depends on how cute the guy is and how kind and funny... I guess it would just depend.

  21. I have seen the good and bad of it. If both people can remain adults about it everything should be fine. I have however known a man that had to quit an extremely good job because work was hell after he broke up with what turn out to be a very bitter woman.

  22. I've always considered it not to be a good thing when co-workers hook up and do not actively look at co-workers for potential love interests.

    One company I worked for had a couple that had met and married there, they had a son, then divorced a few years later. Both ended up leaving the company. Fortunately, they worked in different departments, but the office was small enough you saw everyone all the time.

    The company I work for now, a guy and gal started dating, got pregnant, she ended up finding a job elsewhere, but they are still together, bought a house, not sure if they ever married or not. Time will tell if that one will work.

  23. Yes, I did....married him too....and then discovered it was the worst mistake of my life...

  24. kathy, ooh what a thrill! Would you have gotten in trouble if people found out?

    jewls, "always worked with weirdos" Haha! Poor girl, but I bet it kept any distractions at bay ;)

    sugarlens, well my job is only on one a 30-something (or so) floor building. I don't even say a word when I'm on the elevator with a cute stranger!

    tori_z, oh I'd probably get stomach aches all the time hoping I didn't run into the person.

    dama, yeah I know it can go either way, but 1) I'd be too worried about what other coworkers/employer would say to even consider it unless the guy made the first move or took it too far at a company party (like I'd ever let myself get that drunk). 2) Let's face it, I'm also just putting up another excuse/wall to not put myself out there. Though if I were, I think work would be the last place I'd look.

    tooj, that's because he's playing it smart (which leads me to think he's a higher up.) From above the table he seems relaxed, ready for business, complete separate from that chick. That's so no one will suspect there's a party going on below.

    heidi, oh it would depend on A LOT of things. Those you mentioned are some of them, yes, along with how far it could go.

    melissa, yikes! That must've been so embarrassing for both!

    chicagolady, my job is too small to handle all that drama. EVERYONE would know. It seems everyone either knows someone who's dated a coworker or dated one themselves...

    ladystyx, good thing you realized it and got the hell up out of there! Now look at you :)


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