Thursday, February 11, 2010

What Do You Really Want for Valentine's Day?

I've been flipping back and forth with my feelings towards February 14th. Some days it's "Eh, it's just another day." Other times it's a pathetic reminder of 2008's events. Yes, I know, TWO years ago. I want to bury the past and enjoy my present happiness with the new bf, but a tiny part of me is tempted to dig up the old and bear that cross for Valentine's Day. And the fact that I know I have complete control over my feelings and am considering choosing the miserable path is admittedly ludicrous. Either way, I'd be perfectly happy staying in and treating it like any other day silently acknowledging the fact that it'd cater to my silly notion that the holiday will always be The Day We Broke Up.

But there's another reason why I don't care if Sunday quietly comes and goes - one I'd rather focus on. When you're with someone who tells you how amazing you are and how he can't get enough of you every single day, then you don't need a specific day dedicated to telling each other how much we care. You don't need roses or a fancy night out on the town. There's no real need for Hallmarks or candy because at the end of it all, gifts don't truly signify how important you are to this person. If you communicate that regularly, the lovey-dovey holiday isn't such a huge deal.

Some women would be absolutely livid if her man dared to plan something less than spectacular or - gasp! - didn't buy anything at all. If this day holds that much meaning to you that the very foundations of your sanity rest on whether he bought the right flowers or not, then ask yourself why. Is this the only day of the year when you two express how you feel towards each other? Or is it because we've been conditioned to think that real love comes packaged and tied up in a pretty red bow? Question why material possessions hold such value for you and if you'd be content with nothing but a hug. Be honest.

This time around, I'm aiming towards simple and without expectations. Just spending the day together - even if we do the most mundane thing on Earth - would be more than enough.


  1. Very well written. And you are right, it really isn't that big of a deal. My husband and I will usually go out to dinner as it is just nice to go out minus the kids and this is a good excuse to go out.
    I don't have to have presents or flowers I just want to spend some one on one time and so something, as long as I don't have to plan it :)

  2. I completely agree with you! V-day is a good excuse to cook something extra special at home or make sinful chocolate-y desserts, but my husband and I are totally not into dropping $100+ on a fancy meal out.

  3. Valentine's Day is not one of my favorites. If you are single you feel bad about yourself and stress out because you don't have a date on Valentine's Day. A completely confident lady can be turned into a wreck at the thought of being dateless on the holiday that celebrates love.

    Then if you are with someone you are made to feel that your day is not complete unless you have spent three hours waiting to be seated at the Olive Garden!

    It is just too much stress for that day in my opinion! I think that you should celebrate each other all of the time, not just when Hallmark reminds you.

  4. Nicely said. I agree, my boyfriend and I have never really done v-day, we are just spending the day together and watching lots of films in the evening. Just a standard night in really :P

    SE x

  5. This year my bf and I are going to adopt a tiger from WWF. :) I don't really fancy having a huuuuuge celebration or anything fancy. After all, it was meant to be a day for friends, rather than lovers. LOL. So it'll be just the usual dinner with friends and that's about it. And I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

  6. Amen to that! :)

    Now, I have got a little something for hubby. And he's got a little something for me (I know he has, he told me so) but I completely agree that you don't need a special day like this to show one another that you love each other, or to celebrate your love, or whatever. Every day is for that, isn't it?

    That's why I told my hubby he wasn't to cancel his gaming club just for me. Why should he stay home with me just because it's "Valentine's Day"?

  7. I'm really pleased and happy to see you have found someone and are happy and content.

    And you have learned something the hardest way - its the other person - not the goodies that is the goodie.

  8. Valentines Day is a bit too corporate to be a proper holiday. My ex and i used to pretend we were mad at each other on Valentines Day so we wouldn't get into the ridiculousness of it all. At least, i thought she was pretending.

  9. So true. The best is just being together.

    Happy Valentine's Day!
    A special note for you...

  10. I hope you had a nice simple, but happy, Valentines Day. I know I did.

  11. We spent the day walking around, taking in the sun, shopping around and eating! Hope you all enjoyed your weekend :)

  12. Thomas has been forbidden to EVER buy me flowers again (long story!), and honestly a day without chocolate isn't worth living, so he doesn't need to buy any for me - I've already got it!

    I know he loves me. He says so. Verbally. And non-verbally as well. Like when he starts the truck for me and moves the seat back when I'm going out alone. Or when he gives Bella a bath when I'm really tired. Or how he ALWAYS lets me have whatever stamping something-or-other I simply "must have". He's awesome. And he's mine. And I'm grateful.

    Even when he's a pill, lol!

  13. Stopping by from A Peek at Karen's World since you're her Blog of the Week.

    I love this post. I agree with what you've written here. My husband and I have never gotten caught up in the gift giving holidays. I don't need some expensive gift to feel validated or loved. And, truthfully, I feel sorry for women who "need" that stuff. It's just that - STUFF. Great post.


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