Friday, March 5, 2010

Naked Bliss: Take 2

High school gym locker rooms are some kind of hell. So much so that I played a secret game by myself just to cope with the torture: Get Undressed and Dressed In Record Time Without Exposing Skin. I hated gym if only for the fact that after the fun was over, I'd be corralled into a room surrounded by pretty - and fully developed - girls strutting about in their underwear. They sure didn't look as mortified as I felt.

Although my body image improved a bit in the coming years, it took a nose dive after my breakup two years ago. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's turned inward when a relationship goes south. "Maybe if I were taller...Maybe if my hair were longer, straighter, my body curvier..." Even though I know that was never the case with him, my mind still went there. "Maybe if I were prettier, he wouldn't have let me go."

My how that mentality's changed. These days I'm so hyped after a workout that I can't wait to get back to the locker room, say, "Off with these clothes!" and jump in the shower. It's only been two weeks since I started exercising, but once I'm in there washing off I can't help but think, "DAMN! I look mad good!" (Hey, I'm allowed to be completely self-absorbed for a few minutes each day.) I'll admit that part of it is because I managed to catch another boyfriend without undergoing plastic surgery, but getting that adrenaline pumping gives off such feel-good vibes that how can you not feel like a rock star? So when I step back out into the hectic NYC streets, I could look like a hot mess, but in my mind I've got a soundtrack going and my hair is blowing in the wind. And yes, it looks mad good, too.


  1. I always made sure my gym class was the last class of the day so I never had to deal with that torture! It is great that you are getting such a boost from your workouts. Keep up the good work!I need to use you as my role model to get back into mine. :)

  2. I'm so proud of you! Yes, everyone should allow themselves to be completely self-absorbed if only for a few minutes a day. It's a great ego boost.

  3. I fully endorse being self-absorbed at least an hour a day.. At the very least. :)

  4. Ummm....the gym? Working out? I'm so confused! I've been gone too long, lady.

    I think in high school, when I was completely undeveloped (which was the entire four years, in case you wondered), I already knew that everyone KNEW I didn't have it was less traumatic to have to undress. It's like...I'm not going to HIDE the fact that no boobs are there. They clearly know that based on how flat my shirt lays against my chest. :)

    Your hair is gorgeous. If you ever complain about it, I'll personally come there and hurt you.

    Happy to see your page again.

  5. Seriously, that's always been so awkward. I was always surrounded by skinny girls who I would have gladly gave bits of my boobs, hips and butt to. They needed it more than I did, I thought. And since I had enough to go around, I was willing. :)

  6. I was the same way as a kid - that was where I learned how to change into a sports bra without even removing my shirt.

    That trick came in handy when I had to change into my dance uniforms on a crowded bus during college (when I actually KNOW I looked good).

    There is nothing like the feeling of confidence that a good workout can give. And confidence looks good one everyone.

  7. You want to know a secret? Every girl in that high school locker room was dealing with some kind of confidence issue. Even the ones you admired.

    It's so great that you feel good about yourself now. I need to get to that point!

  8. When I look at those parts of myself I don't particularly love, I try to remember all the good they've brought me, all the hard work they've done on my behalf. Case in point: less than flat belly has bared two beautiful children. Great post!


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