Monday, April 12, 2010

A Quickie Guide to Sex Guides Part 1

One of the things I love about my career is the chance to learn about new products, studies and books on a range of topics, but mostly ones concerning lifestyle and wellness. Now because I've written several love and sex stories in the past, I'm never surprised when I receive e-mails or review copies of the latest sex books on the market. So after months of raking them in, I've finally decided to round those up and give you quick reviews on 10 of them. But where would the fun be in doing this alone?

Which is why I've enlisted the help of A. not only because he's my boyfriend and I find him hysterical, but because what guy would actually say no to looking through sex book after sex book? Oh, and there's one other reason: he worked in the porn industry for two years and has quite the interest in all things sex-related. (He worked behind the scenes though. Read about his crazy adventures in Porn: From the Inside Parts 1, 2 and 3 as well as his series on 10 Things You Didn't Know About Sexual Biology.) I should also warn you that he has an fondness for profanity and I didn't even try to cover up his colorful vocabulary.


If you've run out of locations for your sexual encounters, Sex Marks the Spot attempts to spark your creativity with - what else? - 69 places for intimate play. But with predictable suggestions like cars, the library and parks and then questionable ones like the ski lift and while driving an ATV (err?!), I have to wonder how desperate for ideas must you be that you need a book that tells you to jump in the back seat and revisit your virgin days. It's so full of clichés, I really couldn't take any of it seriously. And as for "Number 69," well you'll be providing that one yourself.

A. says: I don't think text is even needed here. Just show me the location and I'll figure it out. Nobody is going to read this shit; these tips are for idiots. No shit you need to scope out the joint when you're gonna have sex. This book would be better as a giant list with check boxes next to them. Instead someone had to make a fucking book out of it.

Author Kidder Kaper, a sex game designer and host of the Sex is Fun podcasts, has created this cool comic book-style sex manual that might draw your guy's attention, which is great if you want to get him involved in your exploration. You can go through Sex is Fun together, discovering each others likes and dislikes through the workbook-style activities and find ways to bump up your sex life along the way. I actually enjoyed the workbook pages and think it can help the timid types start a discussion with their partner. Who knows? You might discover you both have superhero fantasies you'd like to play out.

A. says: I like it because it treats sex the way it should be treated - it's fun! Though it might shock people. There's the graphic gay sex and if you're not prepared for that it might make you uncomfortable. I think the workbook activities are cheesy though. I'll do whatever the fuck I want so if I see something I like, I don't need a worksheet to prompt me to do it. But I like it. It's entertaining, exciting and completely vulgar. [Minutes later...] Butt sex!

I'd recommend The Mominatrix's Guide to Sex to some of you if I didn't think the author was so demeaning. The book means well with its goal of whipping withering sex lives back into shape, but must it do it with reminders of how stretched out your vag and how busted your face have become? Shoot, this book even served as psychological birth control for me. Kristen Chase keeps it way too real for my tastes, but maybe some of you enjoy that type of tough love. The book manages to dispense bits of helpful advice in between the name-calling (shout-out to all you C-section bitches!), but perhaps it would've been better served with a little more class as I'd think the target audience already has enough self-esteem issues. Then again, they could get a laugh from their own self-deprecation.

A. says: I was curious because every guy is interested in pregnant sex, but whoever this woman is has such a condescending way of communicating her tepid humor. I don't want her as my mom, I'll tell you that much. And there are no pictures so I'm completely unstimulated.

The green fad has claimed our food, our homes and clothes so it was only a matter of time before it tried to crawl into bed with us. With tips like how to shop for organic aphrodisiacs, making your own oil blends and a list of "earth-friendly bands and musicians," Eco-Sex shows you how to make your romp in between those bamboo sheets completely sustainable...provided you find a partner who's as über-eco-conscious as you. Personally, thinking about what's living inside my mattress will totally throw me off the mood, but that could just be me.

A. says: This is all dogmatic hipster bullshit. There's absolutely nothing sexy in this book. When I'm fucking, the last thing on my mind is whether or not I'm carbon neutral.

The Sex Instruction Manual is a funny guide that teaches the "mechanics of sexual intercourse" with its insert tab A into slot B illustrations. You won't find any surprises here, but the guide's techy set-up is amusing and would better serve first-timers without a clue rather than those of us looking for new tricks to test drive.

A. says: The illustrations are entertaining but they're not arousing by any chance; it's like watching two bathroom door markers go at it. And it's almost too basic. Everyone knows that when a guy comes he shoots stuff out. [Minutes later...] Anal play!


So that's it for now, but tomorrow we'll review five more for you. Hey A., how's about a break for a little "oral interfacing" (aka kissing)?

"How's about you interface with my-"


Images:,,, and


  1. They all sound interesting and I'm glad we got A's perspective too.

  2. Some classic "reviewer" turns of phrase there...

    I really snickered at:

    "it's like watching two bathroom door markers go at it"

    "the last thing on my mind is whether or not I'm carbon neutral"


    "as for "Number 69," well you'll be providing that one yourself" (but I got to point out 'yourself' means 'with partner'..."

    ...sounds like only one or two of these was even 3 toasties... "Sex is Fun" and perhaps "The Sex Instruction Manual"?

  3. Dorkys, all I have to comment about this post is that you and A are two freaks who deserve each other!!
    : )

  4. I boycott this post bc you promised me ownership of some of these books and then took it back/ changed your mind. Boycott, boycott, boycott.

  5. jennee, yeah, he's something all right.

    intense guy, tomorrow there a couple more that I found interesting.

    anonymous, Haha! I guess we do.

    dama, you'll live.

  6. I enjoyed the opportunity to spout vitriolic disdain at commercial gimmickry.

  7. And here I thought you just liked looking at the pictures...

  8. He's cute AND hysterical. You've got a keeper there, honey!

  9. That was the most fun I've had all day, reading that! Thank you! :)

  10. Glad you guys enjoyed it! It was fun writing it.

  11. It was good having both you and A give your opinions on the books. Nice to get opinions from both sides.

  12. its really nice to read your blog its contain unique information as well as i enjoyed your post...


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