Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Does Sharing the Bathroom Ruin or Improve Intimacy in a Relationship?

About two months into our relationship, I remember being at A.'s apartment and feeling really sick. After hours of discomfort and A. asking what he could do to make me feel better, I was still tight-lipped about what exactly was wrong with me. I was too mortified to let my new boyfriend know that my tummy wasn't quite right and sharing a small studio space with someone made it even harder to hide that something was wrong.

Eventually I caved in and quietly asked, "Are we at a point in our relationship where we can talk about poop and you'll still like me?"

And with his "Of course," I felt like we'd broken through an unspoken barrier.

I'm usually incredibly shy when it comes to expressing bodily functions around strangers and friends, but am happy that A. and I are so comfortable with each other there's rarely an embarrassing moment between us. We tease each other about morning breath, gas, tummy issues, monthly cycles, and whatnot, but we know it's just a natural part of being human. When I asked if he'd love me more if I hid all that from him, A. simply replied, "It wouldn't make a difference."

We've also no qualms about using the bathroom at the same time. We brush our teeth together and our showers are almost always for two. If one of us needs to pee, the other does his hair or shaves at the sink to save time. The door only remains closed if one of us really needs to be in there alone.

I know a guy who likes to think girls don't fart, poop, stink, or do anything gross and I thank God A. isn't that unrealistic in his expectations of me. I love that I can wake up with my wild hair and crusty eyes and not pretend that I'm perfect (or always perfectly groomed) for him to spoon me in the morning. That's not to say I don't partake in any upkeep, but if I haven't had time to shave in a few days, that's okay, too. Our showers have become our little bonding moments where we chat and relax while we lather up. When we're each on our computers for hours on end or focused on our own thing, shower time is a playful and intimate (and environmentally friendly!) break for the two.

But I'm curious to hear what you guys do. Is bathroom time strictly a solo affair or do you believe that sharing some of those moments brings you closer together?

Image: whereisthecool.com


  1. I live alone - so its solo - but hey, I leave the door open...

  2. the love of my life takes a shit while i brush my teeth, he stares at me while i pee. tries to fondle me in the shower! then he farts directly into my va jay jay to "test his aim." the nerve of him!

  3. R and I have separate bathrooms, and I generally think it's improved our relationship. But we aren't really shy around each other either.

  4. Adding kids to the fray makes it even harder to answer this. I rarely get alone time in the bathroom unless I lock someone out. As for Hubs, it's always been pretty fair game to walk in. We do try to give one another peace while poohing....just 'cause. You need SOME alone time. And wiping in front of one another is just icky. At least when he does it, it makes me feel icky. LOL

    I suppose I should invite him into the shower sometime. It's just that, with little kids, getting alone time is very very rare, so the shower time and the bathroom time is a luxury right now.

  5. There are certain aspects of the bathroom routine that I am really not willing to share. But the basic stuff? Sure, why not?

  6. I have limits (pooping should be done in privacy), but other than that he walks in on me, I walk in on him... Sometimes we just go in and do stuff together, etc. We used to shower together all the time, but since we don't have a shower here that doesn't happen these days, but we'll often go in there while the other's in the bath to chat to each other or whatever.

  7. As Toriz said, there should be limits. Passing gas or taking a dump/leak should not be done with the couple inside the bathroom together.

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  8. Sharing a bathroom may or may not have a toll on your relationship. Although the thought is similar with sharing beds, there should be a limitation.

  9. I think sharing a bathroom can improve relationship. I always believe that sharing some of those moments brings you closer together.

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