Wednesday, January 9, 2013

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

If there's something that I've learned since my surgery on Friday, which supposedly went well even though I woke up crying and feeling like crap, it's that an anesthetic is one hell of a drug and I'm incapable of giving myself what I need. Instead of resting up like I was ordered to do, I spent my weekend getting up early, shuffling around in my PJ's doing randomness around the house, and then getting so annoyed when I was physically incapable of doing certain things. Laying in bed all day is such a waste, I'd protest, until Monday came along and found myself so exhausted during work I could barely stay awake.

This week, I was a total grumpkin and there was very little anyone could do to improve my mood. I was taking my frustrations out on others and the more they tried to help the more I dug my heels into the ground in absolute hmpf! I was a walking thundercloud surrounded by electric triggers and all I wanted was to be left alone. Why couldn't they understand that I had no time for music and peace when life sucks and then you die?! Or better yet, why couldn't I see my emotions for what they were and pull a U-ey right back to normality?

"You have absolutely no love for yourself sometimes. No allowance to indulge yourself. No headspace to fall into and relax," A. said to me today.

I don't allow it because I don't believe I deserve it. The kind gestures I offer others I rarely tuck away for myself. I don't nurture my soul or fiercely embrace the things that bring me joy as if life danced along the strings that tie those moments together. After being asked to write down what soothed me or took me to my happy place, I thought of one thing…and then drew a blank. Here, I'm giving it another shot because I need to remember that there are many, many more:

doodling with abandon • writing/receiving letters • hot baths • my curls the day after I've washed them • classical music • fireworks • and for that matter, orgasms • oil massages • other people's babies • flowers (by the way, did you know ramos is Spanish for bouquet?) • Ferrero Rochers and itty bitty cupcakes • being the little spoon • fruit smoothies • really good fiction • candles • sleep

So tell me, how do you nurture yourself? Do you treat yourself to little indulgences from time to time to keep your spirit on fire?


  1. Love to watch extra syrupy sweet movies like "Love Actually". Of course foot massages from my husband are excellent too! And nothing beats a mind blowing orgasm ;) Also, I recommend trying these so so delicious Chocolate Dipped Roasted Almond Vanilla Bean Toffees by Le Monde De LaFosse's where you can buy them:

    Warmest Regards,

  2. Buffet brunch at Bombay Palace, a good movie while sitting in an overstuffed recliner at the dine-in theater in New Jersey, flowers, choosing fabric for projects, burning great smelling incense...these are a few of my favorite things.

    Lee Anna

  3. My absolute favorite way to nurture myself is to take my camera and spend a few hours wandering around a botanical garden. It's a restful, restorative, and creative time to observe nature and listen to the wind blowing through the trees.
    I hope you are being kind to yourself - you deserve it. :)

  4. You absolutely do deserve it! I didn't think I did either, but in the past months, I've learned that loving yourself and nurturing yourself lets you love and nurture others better, because you have so much more energy to give. So take care of yourself! For me, time in nature, singing, dancing, archery, good books, farmers markets, and time with friends are all ways I nurture myself.

  5. I hope you did and are doing everything on your list.

  6. My indulgences are trashy romance novels (I live vicariously through them), mid-afternoon naps under a warm blanket, talking to my family on the phone, and crying over a romantic movie that I've seen 100 times but never get tired of.

    If you don't treat yourself special, who else will? Love yourself, with all your quirks, and don't beat yourself up if you forget that every once in a while.


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